Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
