she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
