She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
