My hair reeks of homosexuality.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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