Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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