I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
