The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
