I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
