Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
