My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
