he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
