But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
