Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
