Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize