I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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