Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
