eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
