i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize