I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
