I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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