do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
