Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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