I think I died a long time ago.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
