those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
There r osticjed everywhere
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
