How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize