she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
