You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she peed on how many people?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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