Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think people are normalizing furries
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
