I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
