you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
