my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
