Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We need to get me chipped asap
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
