He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
