Sry I called you an 8
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
