Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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