Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Betty ford says i'm here all night
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
