She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
