Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
