I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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