I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
