it was like his penis was on wheels.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
They took my balls.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
