The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
