He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
bring money and cleavage
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
