If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
