next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize