____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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