I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Randomize