i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
