Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
