If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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