I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
