I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
