Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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