just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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