all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
