who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
