I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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