She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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