he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
