I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
