i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
