I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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