quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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