Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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