i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
