I accidentally burped into my bong.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
