I'm sorry my penis didn't work
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
