eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize