For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
