I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
this is an emotional support booty call
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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