Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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